Growth Spurts....Not Just for Kids

Yesterday was a very hard day with Noah. His emotions were out of control. It felt like a surprise attack. By nap time my patience was wafer thin, by the time Nick got home, my emotional state was starting to reflect Noah's (and vice versa). I escaped after dinner for a cooling off period of unsatisfying retail therapy, Nick got the kids in bed, and then we settled into a "situation room" dialogue evaluating what had happened and discussing next steps.

I came to Starbucks for my writing date, intending to discuss what we learned, what we are trying, and what is working. But before I started to write I opened my Bible:

"Unless the Lord builds the house, its builders labor in vain. Unless the Lord watches over the city, the watchmen stand guard in vain. In vain you rise early and stay up late, toiling for food to eat - for he grants sleep to those he loves." Psalm 127: 1-2

My heart is not proud. Oh Lord, my eyes are not haughty; I do not concern myself with great matters or things too wonderful for me. But I have stilled and quieted my soul; like a weaned child with its mother, like a weaned child is my soul within me. O Israel, put your hope in the Lord both now and forevermore." Psalm 131

How I needed to hear those words tonight. My eyes are haughty and my heart is proud. I labor and toil endlessly to understand how to be the best parent I can be. I am in many capacities what Kevin Leman refers to as a "Super Parent" in his book "Making Children Mind Without Losing Yours." My way of coping with both failures and uncertainties as a parent is to research until I am so overwhelmed that Nick has to step in, close the computer, take my book away, and remind me to take a break. Honestly, I think that research does a lot of good. The difference in Noah yesterday and Noah today is almost unfathomable. But! As a friend of mine is often saying, "I need to let the Lord show me how to take care of my kids" All the research in the world will be fruitless if I am not asking God to show me the needs of my children, to quiet my heart, and give me the strength, creativity, and energy to train the children the Lord blessed us with as HE desires them to be trained.

I appreciate that Solomon wrote in his psalm that "He [the Lord] grants sleep to those He loves!" I can not imagine more inspiring, comforting words to mothers and fathers of young children (as well as the majority of western civilization). If I had a commentary with me I would probably discover that the poetic nature of the psalms breathes into this verse broader life and meaning - perhaps that God provides for those He loves. But, in his poetry Solomon said SLEEP, and I'm gonna roll with that for now. Poetic or not, that is a promise that I can totally get on board with! :-)

I have said to a few friends recently that I feel like I'm going through a parenting growth spurt. In only two years I can remember several similar experiences, usually marked by Noah's increasing mobility. These growth spurts always seem like an increased loss in personal freedom. The brat in me rebels and says, "But I want to do X." Our experience with Noah yesterday was just this. I was coming off a day where I didn't get anything done, and what I did accomplish got undone. So I decided I would spend the day trying to feel "accomplished." I engaged Noah where I was able to, took care of necessities, but mostly I just tried do my own thing. HA! The kid can play independently, but he knows when he's being ignored. As a result of our conversation last night we agreed that Noah had too many age INappropriate freedoms, especially regarding the way he spent his day. The ends result being that I needed to structure Noah's day in a way that would be life giving to both of us.

Structuring time is a learned principle, that I utilize when necessary, not something that is naturally freeing for me. Regardless, today I had a plan. We moved from activity to activity (sibling play, free time, room time, music time, art time, outside play, helping mommy time, guided play, etc), and I still managed to get a shower, gets meals ready, have a little personal down time, and by the end of the day I had only responded to about 3 tantrums, all of which were much more short lived. Like a baby fights sleep during a growth spurt, I think I am likely to fight choosing to do this initially, but eventually the baby gives into what she needs and with the Lord's help so will I.

Noah "reading" his pillow - his new favorite room time activity

In the meantime...before I headed out for my evening at Starbucks, Nick and I spent our "family time" tickling, playing games, trying to learn more of Noah's words, and relishing the sound of their giggles, shrieks, and coos. I think I photograph our family so much because I am so afraid of them growing up too fast. I just never want to forget how wonderful we have it with these two beautiful kids! It is good that God gives us several years of letting go incrementally, before we have to release them to adult hood.

Abby in her crib just before I lowered the mattress.
Speaking of growing up too fast....

Thank you for reading!!!