Abigail Elizabeth Graham

...finally arrived!!!! She was born May 30, 2009 at 7:28a.m. weighing 7lb 10 oz and 20 inches long at Meriter Hospital in Madison, Wisconsin. She is already nursing extremely well, and I am quickly recovering. The fact that I am blogging less than 12 hours later should speak to that... :-) (Also, pictures are up on flickr)
Labor was very fast and intense! I woke up at 3:30a.m., was at the hospital by 5:15a.m., and she was born just over two hours later, with less than 15 minutes of pushing. I did manage to go drug-free, and I think I'm glad. The memory of the pain is still so fresh that it is hard to feel conviction on that right now. What I am sure of is that Nick's coaching is one of the primary ways the Lord provided for me today! Obviously the physical work was up to me, but Nick took charge of the emotional work, giving me the courage to go on when I did not think I could. I am so grateful for the husband, friend, and father that he is!
Noah came to meet his sister this afternoon with my mom. I'll have a video later. Essentially, he came into the room, was fascinated by her for about a minute, and then set off to explore. He returned to look at her periodically, but he has no clue what kind of impact this is about to have on his life! He did seem glad to see Nick and I, and I was certainly thrilled to see him! We are so blessed to have these little children. I'm also grateful that mom is here to take care of him. I did not worry about him at all during labor, knowing that he would be comfortable with mom.
Bonding with Abby has been a harder experience for me then it was with Noah. Perhaps some of that is the fact that this isn't all new, but I also think this was a more difficult experience than I expected. The element of pain was more overwhelming then I could possibly have been prepared for, and then the midwife had to leave just as I started pushing because of an emergency situation in another room. The backup midwife was on her way, but Abby decided to be born before she could get here. In addition, there was concern about meconium and for the first few seconds after birth she wasn't crying as they hastily cleared out her mouth. I have never lost sight of the reality that I now have a beautiful daughter, but it has been hard for me to allow my emotions time to catch up to that reality. I don't feel guilty about it, and I am quite sure that just as my attachment has grown over the day it will continue growing. However, I do feel like it is important to share the struggle along with the joy, because it is just as real.

Anyhoo....if you are in Madison I would love to have company tomorrow (Sunday). Just give us a call before you come by. If you aren't in Madison then know that I wish you were, and give me a call (or look at plane tickets)! Keep in mind we are in central time. Feel free to call between 9a.m. - 9p.m. our time. I am sure I'll be getting on the phone tomorrow myself. :-)

Our Family of Three

We may not know when Abigail is going to show her pretty little face, but we do know that this evening my mother arrives for a month long visit. As much as we are looking forward to having her around, we are also acutely aware that our daily life as a family of three is ending. In that realization we both feel a genuine sense of loss. We know that Noah will never remember these last 17 months as an only child, and the natural flow of life as we know it is about to experience a series of significant changes. In light of that, we decided to make today a special day. We grabbed pastries from Madeleine's (oh my word so good!) and headed to the park by Henry Vilas Zoo for a breakfast picnic and lots of play!We play in parks with Noah pretty frequently, but today was special and even Nick acknowledged that this was a morning he wouldn't forget easily. Noah is getting more interested in active play, but it amazes me that Noah's world is still so small. We took him out of the stroller in the middle of a huge field, not far from the playground, and all he wanted to do was play with the buckles on his stroller. When we got to the playground for at least 10 minutes he was more interested in mulch then the colorful slides and swings. However, each time he ventured farther away, his delight and his world grew a bit bigger. I am so eager to watch that develop over the next few months.This morning reminded Nick and I that though there will be days and weeks ahead of us that are stressful, our summer doesn't need to be lost to stress entirely. And, even though life is changing again, the Lord remains constant in his faithfulness to us. We see that through the way He provides for us and in Noah's face every day. There really are moments where I just can't seem to get over what a gift that is!

Waiting for Abigail

I am so eager for this Labor to begin. Having never actually gone into labor, I'm fairly nervous about what this will all be like. Don't worry I'm not going to go into the details that would make most readers uncomfortable, but I will say that I know I am making progress. It is hard to know that my body is gearing up, and not know when I'll actually make the 15 minute trip to the hospital.

Every day I battle with myself, knowing that I need to just go about life, enjoy the time with my family, and she'll come when she'll come. On the other hand, I want to be able to put it on a to do list one day and then check it off before going to bed that night. HA! I so know that isn't how it works. Given the importance of mental and physical relaxation for managing the pain of an unmedicated birth days like today really worry me.

However, God reminded me today that ultimately my ability to wait and to endure comes from Him, and not me. What a relief! My labor book talks about going through transition labor and quotes a woman who says, "once you can't take anymore, there isn't anymore to take". That reminded me of the promise in 1 Corinthians 10:13, "No temptation has seized you except what is common to man. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can stand up under it." As I wait, I have to lean on that promise.

Cleveland Here We Come!

Hi Friends,

As of today we are no longer unemployed!!!!!!!! Nick will be starting a job with a Medical Physics Consulting firm, based out of Richfield, Ohio mid-June. We won't be relocating until August 1 because the company has graciously offered for Nick to work with one of their local contractors in order to allow us time for the baby to be born, find housing, and for Nick to get some experience he needs to be certified in Ohio. That is a HUGE provision for us.

Many of you know that our first choice was a job in Atlanta. We heard last night "unofficially" that he would not be getting the job, and what was truly amazing is how quickly we moved on. The Lord has clearly been preparing our hearts for that decision. Simultaneously, we have been considering the Ohio offer, which we received at the end of last week. There are aspects of the Ohio job that have concerned us, and our parents have encouraged us not to just take a job because it was the first thing to come along. I have to say that having parents who support us like that is incredible! It was a real gift to be able to make this decision in a positive way, rather than feeling like we had no other choice. That said...as we continued to pray about it we did begin to get excited and recognized that a lot of our hesitations were selfish and short sighted. Those things that aren't necessarily ideal can be worked with. I'm not sure that this is where we will be for the long hall, but it is where we'll be for at least the next two years and hopefully through Nick getting his industry-required Certification. After our experience in Roanoke, we know that God can open doors we never would have expected; we may end up really loving it!

In the meantime, we will be only 5.5 hours from Bluefield, 7 from Roanoke, and 6.5 hours from D.C. where my sister currently lives. YAY! I'm planning on visiting the Southwest Virginia area sometime in the late summer or early fall with Noah and Abigail. The timing will largely depend on how the move works. Consequently, if any of you know the Cleveland area PLEASE send us info, because we know nothing about it.

Thank you all for your diligent prayers and encouragment over the last five months. We are almost as sad that this time is over as we are relieved. It has been a tremendous season of our marriage, marked by the presence of Christ moving our hearts towards Him. Nick has also had the opportunity to really embrace fatherhood, and I have had much needed help and support through the pregnancy. It will be hard to have Nick back on the road. Please continue praying for that transition and for wisdom and guidance in finding housing in Cleveland. In the meantime, what a blessing that we have an answer before our little Abigail joins us. Today she is officially full term, and the sooner she gets here the better! ;-)

All our love and prayers are with you! Nick and Heidi

A Baby Shower...

Digging into community in Madison has been really hard for Nick and I over the last seven months. Fortunately, we were blessed quickly with a small group through the church that our pastor in Roanoke recommended. Relationships have developed slowly as we are the only couple with a small child and our common times for being together do not overlap well. However...we are all transplants to Madison, experiencing a great deal of transition, and struggling through some events in the church that we were a part of that have been very painful for our pastor and community. That, in and of itself, has provided a mutual understanding of life that makes it worth it to persist in finding time together.

That said, it was more than a little amazing to me when they decided to throw a dinner party and couples baby shower for Nick and I. I know it isn't always common to have a shower for a second child, but I have very much missed having opportunities to really celebrate this little girl. This was an answer to a silent prayer of my heart!

Not so surprising was the wonderful time we shared together. Not everyone was able to make it, but for those of us gathered it was genuinely a wonderful celebration of friendship. Leaving that evening I felt a mixture of excitement and sadness, knowing that our group won't be together a whole lot longer.

Consequently, because it was a couples shower we had hoped to leave Noah with a babysitter and have the evening together. It did not work out, and I'm so glad. He slept 3 1/2 hours that afternoon, and was full of charm and delight long into the evening. We enjoyed celebrating with our son, as much as with our friends, and are so grateful for the way everyone pitched in to help keep him safe and entertained.

Visiting the Olsens!

Rikke Olsen and my mother grew up in Solvang, California where they and their mothers were very close friends. As a result, my childhood is full of memories of visiting the Olsen home in Owatonna, MN. Now, many years later, I had the priveledge of continuing the relationship by bringing my young family to meet these dear friends.

I have been privileged throughout my life to develop relationships with friends that have known mom most of her life, and who also knew both of my grandparents. The stories of Grandpa Richard never grow old to me. He passed away when mom was in college, and I have always wished I'd been able to know him. I get my red hair and freckles from him, and according to my mom, also many aspects of my personality. Nick could easily have been bored as we talked about our scandinavian heritage and family history. He was a bit overwhelmed at times, but he absorbed it all gracefully and came away understanding even more about Danish heritage and tradition. It may have been a whirlwind trip, but it was well worth it!