A Really Good Day and A Really Big Decision

It seems like there are not a lot of really good days in our house recently. Don't get me wrong, life isn't horrible. In fact, the extra family time we are getting is invaluable. Over dinner tonight Nick and I were celebrating how much stronger this season of life is making our family and our marriage. However, the constant waiting brought on by job searching, seems to bring with it the feeling that life is on hold. It is all too easy for the days to just pass by without any significance.

Today, however, WAS a fantastic day. I had my 29 week OB appointment today, during which I had to receive a RHOGam shot and undergo the Glucose Tolerance test (which involves drawing blood). These are not things to make a person happy, and I can not think of any reason I went into that appointment, and through those procedures as joyfully as I did, except for the grace of God. However, I had good reason to be practically dancing as I left the building.

I made the switch from the OB Group to the Certified Nurse Midwife Group at my clinic. This was a huge decision for me. For the last two weeks I have been trying to get my head around the reality that going through one birth does not guarentee me an easier second birth. And, that given that reality, I have to know what is important to me going into this birth. I passionately wanted an unmedicated birth with Noah, and I gave his induction 12 hours before giving into the epidural. Making that choice saved the experience for both of us. However, the truth of the matter is that though I'm not afraid of asking for drugs, I still value having an unmedicated birth experience. Both of my doctor's in Virginia and Madison have expressed an understanding of that, been respectful, and are very good at their jobs. However, in the end, my birth plan was tossed aside and essentially dismissed with Noah. Generally doctors seem to treat me like my opinions regarding my care aren't really that important. I'm pretty tired of fighting that battle. Given the way this system works and the way I am wired, it is essentially the best of both worlds. I'll give birth in a hospital designed as a birthing center with doctors and medical supplies available as needed, but be under the care of a midwife who can devote her time and attention to helping me have the birth experience I so long for. For the first time since I found out I was pregnant, I'm not wishing I could go back to Roanoke to give birth.

Please be praying for me as I continue striving for this goal. My greatest weakness is lacking confidence to endure the pain. Also pray for the timing of Nick's job search and any potential moves that we would be able to be together for the birth of our daughter. We are simply bursting at the seams to meet our little Abigail!