Abby's First Year

Abigail Elizabeth Graham

May 30, 2010 - One year old

One of the gifts of being a full time mom is having space for an inward thought life. Recently those thoughts have been crowded with memories and reflections of our daughter's first year. A few days ago I was asked if it was a fast year. Is there a parent alive who answers "no" to that question? Wasn't it just a few weeks ago that I was meeting her for the first time and trying to decide if it had been worth it to have her naturally? (yes, it was) Does my little baby have to become a little girl? Or, is it that I can't wait for her to become a little girl? Amazing how those desires can exist simultaneously! This year with Abby has been absolutely delightful. I have not forced the more difficult days from my memory, but there is no question that Abigail has brought delight to our family. As we celebrate this first birthday, I praise the Lord that He chose us to be her parents and wait with great expectation to see what the Lord has in store for this precious daughter of His.

Reflections on this year...

Random Strangers:"Oh, your kids are so cute! How old are they?"
Me: "Almost two and six months"
Random Strangers: [pause]"Oh wow!! You must be busy!" (read...so that's why you look tired)

I am laughing even as I type that out, because it encompasses a significant and very real aspect of this year. While Noah changed my perception of "time," Abby changed my perception of "energy." Despite the fact that Abby has always been a fairly "easy" baby, the first two months of life together were completely overwhelming. It was critical that I manipulate nap times so that they would not hit at the exact same time or Noah would end up screaming from his bedroom unable to understand that Abby needed me more in that moment. Additionally, all of my work to be sure I would have a plan for sleep training went out the window when met with the reality of an infant, an eighteen month old, a house to pack, and a move to organize. The preparation proved to be helpful eventually, but for a while I just felt really guilty that I was allowing myself to use sleep props. Then one merciful day, God sent me the angel I needed - a friend from my mom's group with a meal and words of grace. She validated my struggles and reminded me that it would come together AFTER I moved. She talked about her own experience with two under two and reassured me that after a couple months it would get better. I cried a lot during those early days, but less after her visit.

She was right. It did get better. Around two months I began to settle into my role as mom of two, and Abby felt less fragile. For you Babywise moms...around three months I started getting serious about sleep training. I had kept her on a three hour cycle all along but I had to break some bad habits. After nine days of hardcore focus and a ton of prayer we had major progress. By four months she was sleeping through the night with 3 1/2 naps a day. I remember vividly the change that our whole family went through once she started sleeping better. As her world became more organized and pleasant so did our family life. Now, at the end of this first year it is work to remember those early days; I am less lazy, and more resourceful. It is delightful watching Noah learn to be a big brother. He is usually nurturing to her and very helpful to me. Sure...he did love to drag her around by her legs...but it didn't help that Abby would just lay there and GIGGLE!

Once we passed the sleep training phase life with Abigail became more simple. Milestones passed so quickly. By five months she was commando crawling, six months she was crawling full speed after her brother and starting solids. At seven months she started feeding herself, eating her peas and carrots with as much enthusiasm as bananas and blueberries. Not much later she was beginning to talk. Her first word/phrase was "all done" followed by "up" and "okay." By nine months she was starting to pull to standing and began to cruise. She is now a proficient cruiser, learning to balance and let go of the furniture. Walking is not far away. I am not sure how much of the seamlessness of her first year is reality and how much is that my attention has been more divided. It is definitely true that I have not been as eager for Abby to grow up. From day one there has been a sweetness to Abby that I treasure deeply. It is selfish of me, I know, but I have just wanted to bottle up these pre-boundary testing days and keep them forever.

The Party...

Anticipating her birthday we decided to go to West Virginia for a big family party. As is well known by now, my parents are retiring at the end of this year and their house is already on the market. Nick's parents, sisters, our two nieces, a significant portion of the Goodson family, and Aunt Meghan and Uncle Jeremy joined us for an amazing celebration! It was just the kind of event that has defined many of my most significant memories at that house - church picnics, birthday parties, various gatherings with friends, holidays, and most importantly, my wedding.

Abby was totally engaged in opening her gifts, ate her cupcake with gusto, and played joyfully with her aunts, uncles, cousins, grandparents, and great grandparents. As we saw off the last of our family I sought out a quiet space in our backyard and tried not to think about the fact that one day it won't be my backyard to come back to....

In the meantime, Abby's life now has a special story in that beautiful space. Hopefully we will have a few more before the house sells. :-)

Below are a few special things about Abby to know. As always you can keep up with our family life at http://www.flickr.com/photos/heidigraham. Thank you for reading and celebrating with us!

Abigail...

loves to snuggle - climbs all over Noah when possible - smiles and giggles relentlessly - climbs up and down stairs - eats vegetables - likes to move - babbles expressively - initiated peek-a-boo on her own - has seven teeth - adapts well to change - is in the 90th percentile for height - sleeps 12 hours at night - says mama and dada - is not very fond of grass