Update on Noah

Play Time at the new house
Originally uploaded by hgraham06

Saturday evening Noah wouldn't eat, seemed too lethargic, and his temperature returned. On my gut feeling, we decided to take him to urgent care (not having a doctor yet) where we learned he has a double ear infection and his temperature was 102.5. We are on the second day of antibiotics and children's motrin as needed, and he is SO much better.

I think his napping issue was a combination of the pain he was in and the beginnings of separation anxiety. He naps now, but wakes up every 1/2 hour to make sure we are still here. I'll take it over no napping at all.

It is such a relief to see him enjoying life again! Praise the Lord!

How are we?

The natural question to ask us these days is "So how do you like Madison?" or "So how are you doing?" My answer to that right now is, "I just don't know." I don't feel like I have any legitimate reason to complain, but I still feel very vulnerable and cry all too easily. So instead of saying how we're doing, here is what life is like right now:

Nick's Job: He started last Tuesday (his birthday) and things are going very well. The majority of his department has been out of town at conferences and client hospitals, so he's had some time to be introduced to the company and its' procedures before being inundated with training and work. Nick likes his boss, and is excited for the hands on training that starts next week.

Heidi's Job: I'm lonely (for friendship) and exhausted, but some days that reality isn't as close to the surface as others. It's an absolute miracle that I get to have mornings and evenings with Nick now, and I'm very grateful that he doesn't have to travel for a few more weeks. Noah is still his happy self, but he's going through so many changes (including new milestones, separation anxiety, and the move) that he has started refusing to nap. I've let him cry, paid close attention to his cues to be sure he is tired, given him more food, allowed him more time to calm down before nap time, sung to him, walked him, rocked him and even if he starts to fall asleep in my arms the second I lay him down he screams and screams, begging at the edge of his crib to be picked up. Today, I let him sleep in my arms, and it was precious. Howver, I can't just let him do that every nap time. I wish I knew how to help him.

Church hunt: The Lord is amazing. Our pastor in Roanoke connected us with a guy he went to seminary with who is now pastoring a very small PCA church here in Madison. The church has welcomed us so genuinely, and Nick even discovered that one of the members is a fellow physicist from West Virginia Wesleyan whom he shared several classes with. We have joined a small group of others our age, and are enormously excited about the study (Tim Keller on Romans) and the fellowship. Tomorrow night we are going to an outdoor concert with the other couples from that group on the UW Campus. God's provision of this community makes it possible for me to hope that friendships are not too far away.

We are not committing to membership there at this point, but we also don't feel the need to spend a lot of time looking elsewhere immediately. The only real issue is that there are no other babies and only a couple young toddlers. I'm in the process of looking at programs and play groups available through the city and other churches. There are only about 100!

The House: It's getting there. The main floor (of 3) was done pretty quickly, and over the last couple days the upstairs has started to come together. Since Noah isn't napping my primary time to do that kind of work has been lost, but Nick helps when he gets home and I do what I can in the meantime. I'll post pictures once there are pictures worth posting. More than anything right now, I think Nick and I are just in love with our dishwasher!!! haha....

After church last Sunday, I was reminded again that we are strangers in this world; our "home" is the Kingdom of God which is bigger than any city or country. What I don't know is what that really means for how I live my life everyday, and I don't want to try and rationalize my way into an answer that just makes me feel good. Thoughts anyone?

Thanks for reading! I'm going to bed. :-)

Noah's Gone Vertical!

Play Time at the new house
Originally uploaded by hgraham06

Last Sunday morning, Nick and I walked into Noah's room to find him on his feet, grasping the edge of his crib. Since then, he has been working hard to pull himself up as much as possible and is on the brink of mastering his new skill.

As you can see, Noah is thrilled with himself, and I expect he'll be cruis'n around on the search for any scraps of paper, cheerios, or other random items that I may have missed during my daily attempts to keep the house safe for him. :-)

I am Grateful

I am so grateful that we made it safely to Wisconsin! After several very long days, Nick and I are sitting in Virginia Tech stadium chairs in our new living room taking a few minutes to not care if there is something more productive that we could be doing.

In all honesty, the trip could have been much worse, and I prayed as we encountered our various obstacles to be grateful for all things including: witnessing a hit and run in Ohio (where we waited for an hour to give a statement only to be told, once we asked, that it was not necessary); Traffic delays in Cincinnati due to the lack of power; rerouting in Indiana due to flooding; and the most boring stretch of road known to mankind as we drove almost the entire length of Illinois.

I am grateful to not be driving anymore. I am grateful for the crisp fall air. And, I am grateful that Nick and I are able to give each other the space we need (so far) to grieve and celebrate in our own ways. Tonight we sat in Caribou Coffee for an hour debriefing, as we waited to go pick up mom and Noah. We are in agreement that what we struggle with the most is the lack of familiarity. With no furniture yet and all the decent hotels booked up because of a conference we were trying to sort through our options for tonight. In the back of my mind, I kept thinking that I should just call a friend and we could sleep on their couch. Only, there are no friends.

I am grateful that by the end of the day today the route from our house to a few local places was becoming familiar, and that I was able to see the faces of two people that I love tonight when we picked up Mom and Noah.

Noah has had a fever of over 102 tonight. It is the first time his fever has bordered on serious. It scares me to think that he could need a doctor before I've had a chance to find one I like. But, I am grateful that his temperature went down after a bath and that now he and mom are both sleeping peacefully. I am grateful for a quiet house at the end of a long day, and I am grateful that because we found a futon we could afford we don't have to sleep on an air mattress or in a sketchy hotel.

Finally, I am grateful for time to work out my thoughts. I believe I am as much at home typing away at these keys as I am walking into 810 Welton. Sometimes, I think I am actually most comfortable with myself as I write, and I watch as my vulnerability, humanity, and bits of creativity come together in this one place. I am grateful that even when I write to no one at all, I can write for myself and God still hears my thoughts.

Introducing Bloomin' Onions

I am excited to introduce Nick and Heidi's blog - Bloomin' Onions, but first I (Heidi) have to explain our title!

Bloomin' - As long as I've been alive I can remember hearing my parents talk about blooming where you're planted, or, living into the community that you've been given. Two years ago, Nick and I started incorporating that into our life together. Now as we move again, the theme comes to the forefront of our minds.

Onions- When we think of onions we think multi-layered, making you cry, evil (but delicious) vegetable. Similarly, Nick and I are complex people who are constantly becoming more aware of our sinfulness.

The first purpose of this blog is to create a space where we might share how God is challenging us to live into our community depsite the temptation to sit on our butts and wallow in self pity.

The second purpose of this blog, is to help keep communication open with all of you wonderful people who aren't willing to uproot your families and come with us. I have moved enough to know what distance does to relationships. Does this sound familiar to anyone: You go through life often thinking of people who have left, you intend to call, something happens and you don't call. Then time goes by and you start to feel guilty, which doesn't make you want to call more - it makes you afraid to call. When you do finally get up the nerve to call or email, you spend half of it apologizing only to find out the other person feels the same way.

To me, that seems exceedingly dumb, especially in a community of believers who value graciousness and generosity. You can assume from the start that I always want to hear from you; I understand you have a life, because so do I; I will keep in touch the best I can, and I will always be ready to pick back up wherever we left off - be it 5 years ago or 1 month ago.

In the meantime, when you don't have time to chat, hop onto our blog or my flickr website (http://www.flickr.com/photos/heidigraham) to see what Nick, Noah, and I are all up to. I am the writer in the family, so you can bet that it will most often be me that writes. However, Nick hopes to contribute on occasion, especially during his travels. This is our mutual space.

Finally, CTK friends, the dumb flipside to actually blooming where you are planted is the real pain that is experienced in being uprooted. For a moment, please let down whatever guards you have that would keep you from receiving our love and gratitude. Somewhere in all this being strong and responsible about the move, I have to be able to just acknowledge that it sucks that we won't be doing life together anymore.

In doing life with you, God has shown us what it can mean to truly hope for sanctification this side of heaven, to accept failure without guilt, and to be genuinely gracious. It is our sincerest prayer that God will use our home in Madison to love others as recklessly as you have loved us.

Kim, Val, Janice, Rebekah, and Amanda I will long for life with you. Yes, I'll meet new people. Yes, God is calling us to WI. That doesn't mean that even as I embrace that life, that I stop feeling grief when I can't make Josh and Jackson Hot Chocolate this winter, hold the new babies, or be available to love and encourage you through the daily struggles of life. Thank you for being truly faithful friends. I believe in lifelong friends. I have to, as much as I've moved. I pray that when Noah is our age, we will still be drinking our coffee together every now and then.