Brrr.....

In case you haven't experienced it for yourself...4 degree weather, with windchills of -5 degrees is

COLD!!!!!!!!!

Just thought I'd share. :-)

My Thanksgiving Miracle

This thanksgiving my parents and sister joined Nick, Noah, and I in Madison. It was by far one of the best times we've had together as a family. There is nothing quite as delightful as seeing the family who raised me delight in my new family. From my perspective there is almost nothing more beautiful than watching my husband and father hanging christmas lights, my sister volunteering to take care of some of the more physically demanding household chores, and my mom by my side as I navigate my first Thanksgiving meal (which by the way was a real hit and that in and of itself could be my "Thanksgiving miracle".) Equally as exciting for me was watching them all ravish their love on Noah, who was only too willing to be adored. :-)

(Warning: Unashamedly expressing love for my husband below, if you don't like good love stories, don't keep reading...:-))

However, this year, as Nick and I hosted our first holiday together, I was overwhelmed with gratitude that after 4 years of being together and 2 1/2 year of marriage Nick and I not only do life together, but we still enjoy being together. According to the "experts" the feeling of being in love should have dissipated by now. Sure, our relationship isn't sustained by the warm, tingly feelings of infatuation, but I'd still rather kiss my husband than watch TV; I'd rather be in the same room reading together, then traversing the earth without him.

Great story....picking up our Christmas tree this year I was kissing Nick goodbye before he drove off with the tree (I had another ride) unaware that the men were still tying the tree down to the roof of our car. I apologized as I walked off and heard the man say "oh, keep it up." Nick later told me that he looked at the salesman and said mischieviously "you'd never know we were newly weds". Maybe 2 1/2 years isn't a long marriage, but I never want to take for granted one single day that we aren't just going through life, but actually loving our life together.

Praise the Lord for all of his mercy in our lives that we are allowed to love one another!

Noah's First Halloween

Noah's First Halloween
Originally uploaded by hgraham06

We dressed up Noah as a Lion for his first Halloween and sat out on our front "porch" with our candy bowl so that a) he could crawl around and b) we could meet people. We've now met three of our neighbors, and had lots of fun seeing the creative (and not so creative) costumes.

In the meantime, oh my gosh he was so cute!!!

Wind, Waiting Rooms, and Wondering

The sun was shining, the wind was calm, and Nick was home early. "Let's go to the park," I suggested, grabbing my camera and thinking about how nice it would be to have some family play time. Funny. I have not yet made my peace with the concept of prairie wind. It is a bone numbing wind that can come from no where and make you wonder why your winter coat seems so insufficient. Needless to say, our park adventure lasted barely even a couple minutes, though it still provided a couple fun pictures including my goofy attempt at keeping Noah's face warm. (Don't worry, we pulled it down over his eyes and nose only seconds after I took this picture.)

Actually, when we are inside, I love the wind. With nothing but sky rising above rooftops, the sound of the wind is mysterious and even a bit enchanting. It begs you to turn on the fireplace and make hot chocolate, or to lay cuddled under the covers and just listen.

UW Arboretum

Waiting rooms are another story, quite less enchanting. My normally healthy family seems to have responded to this move with a great deal of sickness. It started with Noah's ear infections and our rush to Urgent care and continued with a very early morning rush to the ER for Nick who was experiencing severe abdominal pain. Fortunately, Nick's doctor thinks he just got a virus that has been going around which starts as a cold and ends with stomach flu like symptoms. After a week of extremely bland food, even a day of nothing but liquids, he is back to normal. As soon as that ended, I had some concern about the pregnancy, and what was supposed to be 1 day at the OB turned into 3 days with the OB. Again, we are celebrating that the baby is very healthy, and my symptoms were not early indicators of miscarriage. Now on the agenda is another visit for Noah, to check out some skin issues that won't seem to go away, and flu shots for the two of us. Maybe by the middle of next week, we won't be seeing as many waiting rooms.

I should add for the family members reading this, that we have been extremely fortunate to find very good health care, doctors we like, and efficiently run facilities. The University of Wisconsin Health System has been wonderful so far.

I wonder so much about what God is up to in our lives. The last couple weeks, I have been challenged by conversations with friends back home and by the Lord to reexamine my expectations for getting into life here. I realized that every time I met people I was expecting to find my new best friend and have my needs fulfilled. But, as my friend reminded me, God will bring me the relationships HE wants me to have to fulfill HIS purpose. Darn it! If I'm being truly honest with myself, and with Christ, than that isn't really the best news. I'm lonely a lot of the time for friendship, and I don't want it to take a long time to find friends here. I want God to meet my perceived needs in my timing, in which case He's already late. But... then I come back to what I know about Jesus, about faith, about suffering, and I have to conclude that He is not late and that I am not alone. Moments like this, when I'm trying to sort through a cascade of conflicting emotions and convictions, I wish that God would sit me down and show me his 5 year plan for my life and the communities that I am a part of. But then I would not need faith. I would not experience the joy of seeing how the Lord provides, and oh so many more problems with that scenario.

What I do believe is that God prepares us for the things that happen in our life. And I can see so many ways that our two years in Roanoke may have prepared us for ministry and life in Madison. I can even imagine that the richness of relationship there may have prepared me for a period of waiting here. Ultimately, my prayer is that the part of me that wants the five year plan won't keep me from seeing the work God wants me to be a part of now.


My thoughts for now....Thanks for reading

Oh! And don't forget to check out pictures on flickr at http://www.flickr.com/photos/heidigraham

We're Pregnant...

and we are so excited!! Unlike my pregnancy with Noah, this isn't a total surprise. As soon as Nick got his new job we decided we were ready to continue growing the family, and apparently God was in agreement!

We found out Sunday, September 28, and I believe that I am 5 weeks. Assuming all goes well, Noah will be 18 months when this baby is born.

I am feeling well so far, except for being a bit more tired than usual in he afternoon. Sickness didn't start with Noah until 9 weeks though so we'll see how it goes. I've got an appointment with a doctor here already, and the three of us will be off to our first ultrasound at the end of October. Nick has been ready longer then me, and he is one excited daddy!

Update on Noah

Play Time at the new house
Originally uploaded by hgraham06

Saturday evening Noah wouldn't eat, seemed too lethargic, and his temperature returned. On my gut feeling, we decided to take him to urgent care (not having a doctor yet) where we learned he has a double ear infection and his temperature was 102.5. We are on the second day of antibiotics and children's motrin as needed, and he is SO much better.

I think his napping issue was a combination of the pain he was in and the beginnings of separation anxiety. He naps now, but wakes up every 1/2 hour to make sure we are still here. I'll take it over no napping at all.

It is such a relief to see him enjoying life again! Praise the Lord!

How are we?

The natural question to ask us these days is "So how do you like Madison?" or "So how are you doing?" My answer to that right now is, "I just don't know." I don't feel like I have any legitimate reason to complain, but I still feel very vulnerable and cry all too easily. So instead of saying how we're doing, here is what life is like right now:

Nick's Job: He started last Tuesday (his birthday) and things are going very well. The majority of his department has been out of town at conferences and client hospitals, so he's had some time to be introduced to the company and its' procedures before being inundated with training and work. Nick likes his boss, and is excited for the hands on training that starts next week.

Heidi's Job: I'm lonely (for friendship) and exhausted, but some days that reality isn't as close to the surface as others. It's an absolute miracle that I get to have mornings and evenings with Nick now, and I'm very grateful that he doesn't have to travel for a few more weeks. Noah is still his happy self, but he's going through so many changes (including new milestones, separation anxiety, and the move) that he has started refusing to nap. I've let him cry, paid close attention to his cues to be sure he is tired, given him more food, allowed him more time to calm down before nap time, sung to him, walked him, rocked him and even if he starts to fall asleep in my arms the second I lay him down he screams and screams, begging at the edge of his crib to be picked up. Today, I let him sleep in my arms, and it was precious. Howver, I can't just let him do that every nap time. I wish I knew how to help him.

Church hunt: The Lord is amazing. Our pastor in Roanoke connected us with a guy he went to seminary with who is now pastoring a very small PCA church here in Madison. The church has welcomed us so genuinely, and Nick even discovered that one of the members is a fellow physicist from West Virginia Wesleyan whom he shared several classes with. We have joined a small group of others our age, and are enormously excited about the study (Tim Keller on Romans) and the fellowship. Tomorrow night we are going to an outdoor concert with the other couples from that group on the UW Campus. God's provision of this community makes it possible for me to hope that friendships are not too far away.

We are not committing to membership there at this point, but we also don't feel the need to spend a lot of time looking elsewhere immediately. The only real issue is that there are no other babies and only a couple young toddlers. I'm in the process of looking at programs and play groups available through the city and other churches. There are only about 100!

The House: It's getting there. The main floor (of 3) was done pretty quickly, and over the last couple days the upstairs has started to come together. Since Noah isn't napping my primary time to do that kind of work has been lost, but Nick helps when he gets home and I do what I can in the meantime. I'll post pictures once there are pictures worth posting. More than anything right now, I think Nick and I are just in love with our dishwasher!!! haha....

After church last Sunday, I was reminded again that we are strangers in this world; our "home" is the Kingdom of God which is bigger than any city or country. What I don't know is what that really means for how I live my life everyday, and I don't want to try and rationalize my way into an answer that just makes me feel good. Thoughts anyone?

Thanks for reading! I'm going to bed. :-)

Noah's Gone Vertical!

Play Time at the new house
Originally uploaded by hgraham06

Last Sunday morning, Nick and I walked into Noah's room to find him on his feet, grasping the edge of his crib. Since then, he has been working hard to pull himself up as much as possible and is on the brink of mastering his new skill.

As you can see, Noah is thrilled with himself, and I expect he'll be cruis'n around on the search for any scraps of paper, cheerios, or other random items that I may have missed during my daily attempts to keep the house safe for him. :-)

I am Grateful

I am so grateful that we made it safely to Wisconsin! After several very long days, Nick and I are sitting in Virginia Tech stadium chairs in our new living room taking a few minutes to not care if there is something more productive that we could be doing.

In all honesty, the trip could have been much worse, and I prayed as we encountered our various obstacles to be grateful for all things including: witnessing a hit and run in Ohio (where we waited for an hour to give a statement only to be told, once we asked, that it was not necessary); Traffic delays in Cincinnati due to the lack of power; rerouting in Indiana due to flooding; and the most boring stretch of road known to mankind as we drove almost the entire length of Illinois.

I am grateful to not be driving anymore. I am grateful for the crisp fall air. And, I am grateful that Nick and I are able to give each other the space we need (so far) to grieve and celebrate in our own ways. Tonight we sat in Caribou Coffee for an hour debriefing, as we waited to go pick up mom and Noah. We are in agreement that what we struggle with the most is the lack of familiarity. With no furniture yet and all the decent hotels booked up because of a conference we were trying to sort through our options for tonight. In the back of my mind, I kept thinking that I should just call a friend and we could sleep on their couch. Only, there are no friends.

I am grateful that by the end of the day today the route from our house to a few local places was becoming familiar, and that I was able to see the faces of two people that I love tonight when we picked up Mom and Noah.

Noah has had a fever of over 102 tonight. It is the first time his fever has bordered on serious. It scares me to think that he could need a doctor before I've had a chance to find one I like. But, I am grateful that his temperature went down after a bath and that now he and mom are both sleeping peacefully. I am grateful for a quiet house at the end of a long day, and I am grateful that because we found a futon we could afford we don't have to sleep on an air mattress or in a sketchy hotel.

Finally, I am grateful for time to work out my thoughts. I believe I am as much at home typing away at these keys as I am walking into 810 Welton. Sometimes, I think I am actually most comfortable with myself as I write, and I watch as my vulnerability, humanity, and bits of creativity come together in this one place. I am grateful that even when I write to no one at all, I can write for myself and God still hears my thoughts.

Introducing Bloomin' Onions

I am excited to introduce Nick and Heidi's blog - Bloomin' Onions, but first I (Heidi) have to explain our title!

Bloomin' - As long as I've been alive I can remember hearing my parents talk about blooming where you're planted, or, living into the community that you've been given. Two years ago, Nick and I started incorporating that into our life together. Now as we move again, the theme comes to the forefront of our minds.

Onions- When we think of onions we think multi-layered, making you cry, evil (but delicious) vegetable. Similarly, Nick and I are complex people who are constantly becoming more aware of our sinfulness.

The first purpose of this blog is to create a space where we might share how God is challenging us to live into our community depsite the temptation to sit on our butts and wallow in self pity.

The second purpose of this blog, is to help keep communication open with all of you wonderful people who aren't willing to uproot your families and come with us. I have moved enough to know what distance does to relationships. Does this sound familiar to anyone: You go through life often thinking of people who have left, you intend to call, something happens and you don't call. Then time goes by and you start to feel guilty, which doesn't make you want to call more - it makes you afraid to call. When you do finally get up the nerve to call or email, you spend half of it apologizing only to find out the other person feels the same way.

To me, that seems exceedingly dumb, especially in a community of believers who value graciousness and generosity. You can assume from the start that I always want to hear from you; I understand you have a life, because so do I; I will keep in touch the best I can, and I will always be ready to pick back up wherever we left off - be it 5 years ago or 1 month ago.

In the meantime, when you don't have time to chat, hop onto our blog or my flickr website (http://www.flickr.com/photos/heidigraham) to see what Nick, Noah, and I are all up to. I am the writer in the family, so you can bet that it will most often be me that writes. However, Nick hopes to contribute on occasion, especially during his travels. This is our mutual space.

Finally, CTK friends, the dumb flipside to actually blooming where you are planted is the real pain that is experienced in being uprooted. For a moment, please let down whatever guards you have that would keep you from receiving our love and gratitude. Somewhere in all this being strong and responsible about the move, I have to be able to just acknowledge that it sucks that we won't be doing life together anymore.

In doing life with you, God has shown us what it can mean to truly hope for sanctification this side of heaven, to accept failure without guilt, and to be genuinely gracious. It is our sincerest prayer that God will use our home in Madison to love others as recklessly as you have loved us.

Kim, Val, Janice, Rebekah, and Amanda I will long for life with you. Yes, I'll meet new people. Yes, God is calling us to WI. That doesn't mean that even as I embrace that life, that I stop feeling grief when I can't make Josh and Jackson Hot Chocolate this winter, hold the new babies, or be available to love and encourage you through the daily struggles of life. Thank you for being truly faithful friends. I believe in lifelong friends. I have to, as much as I've moved. I pray that when Noah is our age, we will still be drinking our coffee together every now and then.